Snooping around

Just had a thought. Doesn't everyone like to go over other peoople's houses and when they use the bathroom they just can't help themselves but snoop in the medicine cabinet. OOOH look at what we have here: Tums, Ben-Gay and massage lotions, Senokot-S, Dulcolax, eye wash, Efferdent Plus.Oh i can't stop there let's look under the sink: Depends, plastic bags,...By now you may be saying to yourself 'Hey Lisa stop snooping in your Grandmother's bathroom, you may get caught' . Well, that's highly unlikely since the bathroom cabinets I'm talking about are..... MINE!!! Yes all those wonderful items belong to me; a healthy, attractive ( if I do say so myself) 43 -year old!! You may ask be asking yourself 'What's a healthy, attractive 43 year old doing with a medicine cabinet full of those items?? well these items help me stay that way.
These are some of the items , Let's go over them one-by-one, shall we:
TUMS: Or as I sometimes like to refer to them - my'after dinner mint' ... and breakfast and lunch....since I do not move around often, My metabolism is kinda sluggish so after almost every meal I let out one heckuva 'BBBBEEEEELLLCCCHHH!' Now when I am in a public place I try to stiffle it as much as I can but it just makes the indigestion worse, so I make up the difference when I am in the comforts of my own home. As one member of my family says: ' there goes the teapot again'
Ben-Gay and Massage lotions: Walking around for almost 40 years on crutches, my arms are a Bursitic mess, from my shoulders to the tips of my fingers. My hips ache a lot too since i don't use my knees or thighs I just pivot from my hips to walk. I always joke when I am out and do a lot of walking that I am going to ; go home take off my shoes and braces, but my feet up and soak my HANDS in a tub of water!! LOL. also every month my trusty nurse Carolyn gets out the massage table that my former massage left for me and gives me a massage from head to toe. the Massage is great, and the rates are even BETTER!!
Senokot-S and dulcolax. Or as I lovingly refer to it... 'MY BOMB' If you follow my blog, you know I partake in this ritual at least once a week. Some days it's uneventful and I am good to go out by 2:00pm other days well, I'm up around 1 am sometimes I get a gagging reflex, sometimes I start flashing and mom has to use a cool cloth to relax me, sometimes the pain feels like I am about to give birth to a prehistoric animal...OUCH! but it's absolutely worth it since I know I can go the week to work without an incident ( remember the story of me in High School in the girl's bathroom?)
Eye-wash- nothing majorly medically wrong, it's just that my eyes get tired alot and I like the soothing of the eye wash. That reminds me of a story.. I was 15 years old and I had to get a new pair of glases since mine broke. when i went to the place they said they wouldn't give me glasses without an eye exam. I always go to an Opthamologist since I have a shunt and he checks for pressure behind the eyes and gives me a full work-up but since I needed the glasses ASAP (20/200 vision) I let her do it. Well she very nicely informed me that i had the eyes of a 50 Year-old MAN!! let's just squash a teenager's self-elstem shall we??
Okay, back to the contents of my bathroom shall we:
Depends: I dont FULLY Depend on them (pun intended) but I have the occassional oops with the bladder ( and sometimes bowel) and i don't know when it's going to happen so I stay prepared.
and last, but certainly not least, I have a package of .
Efferdent handy for the times I need to soak my...... Retainer, come on you didn't think I was going to say dentures did you??
Anyway that is the infamous tour of my bathroom. Hope you enjoyed it as much as i did snooping around. Till next time.....